The day my baby went to Heaven

April 24, 2013 is not just any day in history, it's the day my baby went to Heaven. He would have been 5 years old this year. He would most likely be running through the house with his two older brothers firing nerf guns at each other or building legos together or jumping on the trampoline or riding his bike. I imagine him as a happy, go lucky kid full of personality and wit. He probably would have kept me on my toes. I imagine he would have had a redish tint to his hair and sprinkling of freckles across his cheeks and cute little nose. I imagine he would have fit perfectly in our home. I think he would have brought such joy and laughter to our family had he not left this world in a hurry. And oh boy would he have been loved to pieces. 

Five years ago, I went into labor knowing the outcome of leaving the hospital with a baby was slim. Nonetheless, I had hoped beyond hoped we would. He came into the world in a hurry and left the world in the same fashion. He was in such an awful big hurry. Why? Because he knew he would go straight into the arms of Jesus that day and he was beyond thrilled to get there. I still don't understand why he couldn't stay with me and be my baby boy here on earth, but I don't fault him for wanting to be with Jesus. I do too.

I held his lifeless body in my arms and cried. I kissed his little cheek and touched his precious little feet and toes. Though his little body was far from whole, he is complete and whole in heaven. I miss what would have been. I miss what could have been. And I miss him. Thank you Jesus for entrusting his life to me. Although it was a short life, it was a beautiful life and I am so thankful I had the pleasure of being his mom. 

A piece of my heart lives in Heaven and a piece of heaven lives in my heart. He will always be remembered and never forgotten. He was and is a member of the Seals family and will always be my baby boy. Happy 5th birthday Brasen Creed Seals. You are loved.