This last month I have struggled with discouragement and my faith has quite honestly been tested. After returning home from Denver my health began to decline; more than I had experienced this entire last year. Even though I felt like I was doing everything right, I continued to suffer from poor health. I was frustrated and unsure of the next course of action. We had looked into Mexico a year prior, but the timing was not right. God wasn't leading us there until now. Now was the time to pursue treatment out of the country.
Why out of the country you ask? Well, the thing is...my oncologist tells me there's no cure. I'm not curable. They have tricks and gimmicks that can prolong my life, but the inevitable is still there. Stage 4 breast cancer is not curable. So, why would I continue doing what my oncologist thinks I should do if it won't really help in the long run? That seems silly to me. That's not good enough for me. I want to be cured. I want to live a long life. I want to see my children grow up, graduate college, get married, and have grandbabies. I want to grow old with my husband.
Now, Mexico is not a guarantee. Nothing truly is, but I believe that the body can heal itself if given the proper nutrients and tools. No, Mexico is not a cure-all....only God is. God is my true healer. And I believe that my declining health was the only reason I am here in Mexico today; that God wanted me here for a reason. I'm not sure if that reason is for complete healing, or for the relationships and fellowship I have experienced while here, or if it's for my emotional health, or for my faith to increase? I don't yet fully know the reason I was brought here, but I know God has directed my steps. Not only here to Mexico, but this entire cancer journey. He has been with me every step of the way. And boy what a journey it has been. Such hardship, pain, hurt, disappointment, and frustration. But at the same time such blessing, encouragement, faith, growth and perseverance. God is continuing to refine me and mold me and shape me into His likeness. Everyday I am learning more and more about myself. God is continuing His good work in my life and will carry it onto to completion. I continue to run the race marked out for me until I reach the finish line. My story continues on. We haven't reached the end. The final chapter hasn't been written yet.
As far as my time here in Mexico, it has been a truly wonderful time so far. We have settled into a routine and have already made some lasting friendships! We stay fairly busy with treatments, but have a lot of down time as well. My mom and I have enjoyed our time together and have enjoyed watching shows, reading devotions, coloring, laughing and talking together with treatments thrown in in between! The staff here has been amazing. They are so caring, encouraging and supportive. And the food has been off the charts. I am totally going to have a difficult time going back home without having someone serve me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. It truly has been wonderful. After a week's time I have gotten fully accustomed to being waited on. But in all seriousness, I am extremely thankful I am here at this time and thankful for all these healing treatments I get to do. It wouldn't have been possible without the generosity, support, prayers and encouragement from all of my wonderful friends, family and even strangers. I am overwhelmed with the love and kindness of so many people for me and my family. It has blown us away. We love you all and will keep you updated as much as I am able to while here in Mexico. The adventure and journey continues!
Great blog, Kimi! Tell us, have you reached the amount $$ needed before they hold you hostage down there? Keep on keeping on! ♡
ReplyDeleteWe are about half way!
DeletePraying for you and your family
ReplyDeletePraying for your complete healing and restoration. Thanking God for this time spent with your mom and those who you have touched through this, for the Glory of God. Praying for your family as they support and love you through this and to give them strength, hope and comfort that comes from the Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen!
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